My boyfriend, Larry, always criticizes my driving. “You drive too fast,” he complains. “Keep both hands on the wheel.” “Didn’t you see that stop sign?” Blah, blah, blah.
It’s not as though his attacks are justified. The last accident I had wasn’t even my fault. I’d been drooling over this George Clooney look-alike who was standing at a bus stop when suddenly he vanished, compelling me to avert my eyes from the road for one brief second. It was a quirk of luck that prompted my car to catapult into the bus shelter.
Basically, I’m a cautious driver. But, I do believe some driving rules are absurd, maybe even obsolete. I’m sure they were originally written for good reasons, but they don’t make sense today.
For instance, back in the fifties, I was taught to keep both hands on the steering wheel in the ten o’clock – two o’clock position. In discussion with friends we agree that this position was probably formed before power steering, when two-handed strength was necessary to turn the wheel. Today, though, it’s both unnecessary and impractical to use two hands. I’d like to see a revised 6:30 position for the left hand, and an action-free right hand. It doesn’t make sense to confine both hands to the steering wheel when one can do the job, while the other can put catsup on a hamburger, dial phone numbers on the car phone or put on lipstick.
Gary Smally, in his seminar series entitled Hidden Keys to A Loving Relationship discloses that men are primarily left brained, logical, and virtually incapable of concentrating on more than one thing at a time. Change oil. Hang picture. Drink beer. Attempt talking to a man who is exerting supreme concentration on the complex tasks of watching TV and pushing remote control buttons and he won’t hear you.
Women, Smally says, are primarily right brained giving them the ability to concentrate on a wide variety of things at once, such as talking on the phone and mopping the floor, or eating lunch, reading a magazine, folding laundry and watching TV. Is it any wonder that men are intimidated when some of this multi-tasking talent carries over to our driving skills?
Show me a man who can put on eye liner and nail polish, write out a supermarket list, fill out a bank deposit slip, and tease his hair while traveling 70 miles an hour. I don’t think so.
Put a man behind the wheel and all does is drive. It’s not that he wouldn’t like to do more. He simply can’t. I asked my boyfriend to change the radio station while he was driving and he nearly got us both killed when he looked down at the buttons and swerved into the next lane. And when he stops at a red light, his hands never leave the wheel. He’s focused on revving up and beating out the guy along side of him. It’s not his fault; it’s a genetic disability.
A huge pet peeve of my boyfriend is my selective use of stop signs. I’m not stupid. I understand the importance of stop signs — in most places. But, let’s get real, it’s simply not necessary to come to a complete stop every time. Stop signs should be optional. Like, if it’s late at night and there’s very little traffic, or if you’re driving through the country and you’re pretty sure there are no other cars or cops around, it should be enough to slow down and take a peripheral peek.
My boyfriend will probably always challenge my driving philosophy and my expert driving skills, but he’ll be happy when I come home early today. He’ll ask how I was able to leave the office so early. I’ll lie. It would only upset him to know I completed my office work on my laptop, while driving home.
Damn! A cop. I’ll have to convince him that was an optional stop sign.
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