HOW THE (BLEEP) DID I GET THIS OLD?"

And other catastrophes that Attack and Assult when you're back is turned, is a collection of laugh-out-loud columns I've written during my fourteen years as a humor columnist. Go to Amazon.com, read a few excerpts and check out all of the five star reviews. It's also available on Kindle. Order now, and have it in a couple of days. Read it by the pool, on the beach, in front of the fire place or in the bathroom. It's the right gift for everyone forty and over for Valentine's Day, Mother's Day and Christmas, and Every day. It's the perfect House Gift.

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UPCOMING SPEAKING and BOOK SIGNING ENGAGEMENTS

September 17, 2013 - Blair Woman's Club

The Inn at Millrace Pond, 313 Hope Johnsonburg Rd., Hope, NJ

12:00 - 2:000 908-459-4884

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December 6, 2012 - Sparta Book Store

29 Theatre Center

Sparta, NJ

Book signing

6:30 - 8:00 p.m. (973) 729-6200

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December 4, 2012 - Great Horizons,

Morris County Adult School

Class held at Morris Museum

6 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ

1:00 P.M. (973) 292-2063 Call to register.

This class was originally scheduled for November 30, but cancelled because of Hurricane Sandy. I will be giving a humorous talk and reading several of my columns, followed by a book signing. I look forward to seeing you there. Call to reserve a seat.

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Laverne H. Bardy’s humor column, Laverne’s View, has been syndicated with Senior News Wire Service since 2004, and is read in newspapers internationally. Her blog is read on Huffington Post. She wrote for 50 Plus Monthly, a regional New Jersey newspaper, from 1999 to 2009.

Laverne's View, can be read regularly at:

www.HuffingtonPost.com/laverne-h-bardy

www.GO60.US

www.AfterFiftyLiving.com

www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

www.Shrewsbury.net

BIOGRAPHY

Laverne began her writing career in the mid 1970’s, when she was asked to write and edit Hotline, the Parent/Teacher newsletter at the school her children attended, in Livingston, New Jersey. During that same period she wrote one play, collaborated in writing another, and worked with the Livingston school system’s psychologist to write a series of Behavioral Modification skits that were presented to parents and teachers of the student body.

Laverne wrote human interest stories and press releases for West Essex Tribune and The Newark Star Ledger for a stretch then went on to join the staff of Northern Horizon and Montague magazines.

Some publications Laverne’s work has appeared in are Reader’s Digest, Huffington Post, Mature Living, Woman's Hockey, Big Apple Parents’ Paper, The Daily Record and New Jersey Jewish News. Anthologies include Chocolate for a Woman’s Courage, Rocking Chair Reader, Bedpan Banter and Story House. Writing accepted by Craft of the Modern Writer was submitted for use in a college text. Laverne has been interviewed by radio host, Carole Marks on her international show, A Touch of Grey, by blogger Brian Feinblum for his blog, "http://bookmarketingbuzzblog.blogspot.com."

Bottom Line Retirement magazine interviewed her twice.

When she is not writing Laverne gives talks and readings from her book, "How The (Bleep) Did I Get This Old?" and other humor columns she has written over the years. She is often asked to speak about the joys of aging. That talk don’t usually last more than 30 seconds.

Laverne was nominated for publication in the 2006 edition of Marquis Who’s Who of American Women.

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HERE'S WHAT'S OLD?

PAST TALKS, READINGS, AND SIGNINGS

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October 6, 2012 - Warren Township Library

42 Mountain Blvd. Warren, NJ

2:00 P.M. (908) 754-5554

This was my best talk yet. What fun. What a super, spontaneous audience. Again, old high school acquaintances showed up, which was surprising and lovely.

September 18, 2012- Belle Reve Senior Housing

404 East Harford Street, Milford, PA

1:00 P.M. (570) 409-9292

The turnout was not great. A tornado was anticipated, schools closed early, and people honkered down.....wimps! LOL But, I did have a good time and met several lovely people.

April 23, 2012 - Morris County Library

30 East Hanover Avenue, Whippany, NJ

8:00 P.M. (973) 285-6930

My April 23, 2012 talk and reading at Morris County Library in Whippany, was terrific fun. Despite it being a Monday evening, and a rainy one at that, there was a pretty decent turnout. Some guests planned to be there, others came in as a result of hearing laughter as they walked through the library, and decided to see what the laughing was about. That was nice. Two guests came up and asked "where I'd gone." They missed my "Laverne's View" column in Fifty Plus, Monthly. That was especially nice to know.

March 12, 2012 - Blairstown Book Nest

17 Main Street, Blairstown, NJ

12:00 (973) 362-8200

This BOOK SIGNING was a great success. I hadn't anticipated many people would show because of the book store's remote location. As it happened I met many lovely people. One woman appeared with her high school year book. "You never signed my year book," she complained. I didn't know who she was until I checked her 1955 photo, which I immediately signed, 57 years late.

Another woman from my high school, also came. As soon as I heard her name I realized who she was. I had a crush on her husband (before she married him) in high school, and I recognized his last name.

One woman, who has been a faithful reader of my column, "Laverne's View," since I first started writing it back in 1999, came with her sister and we had a wonderful conversation. In fact, I had quality conversations with many of the people.

I was surprised to see a number of men, each of whom felt the need to say they were there on behalf of their wives, who were unable to make it.

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I was contacted by The Huffington Post who asked if I would be interested in writing a blog for them. You can bet I said "YES!" It's a popular, prestigious e-zine and my byline and photo are thrilled to spend quality time there. I've never blogged in my life but....how hard can it be for someone who excels at blabbering? My blog will be available at www.huffingtonpost.com/laverne-h-bardy/ in their Huffington Post 50 section that targets Baby Boomers and up. I can't wait to start.

Forbes contacted me to do a blog also, which initially delighted me. But, they imposed too many rules and restrictions on the content of what my writing, which infringed on my creativity, so I backed out.

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January 24, 2012

My book, How The (Bleep) Did I Get This Old? has been released and can be purchased at Amazon.com, Kindle, Smashwords.com, Books-a-Million.com and Createspace.com/3640610...(yes, I know that’s a strange URL, but it’s real, and offers me the best royalties.) The book is beautiful, and I have CreateSpace.com to thank for that. It has been a pleasure working with them every step of this exhausting, exciting, illuminating journey.

The book is a collection of many years of my published columns...some expanded, others new. It's the funny side of finding myself back in the dating scene, after the breakup of a 21 year marriage. It's about the aches, pains and general annoyances of arthritis, cataracts, and random hair growth. It about me cursing at hermetically sealed packages, battling with weight, and sulking over having to trade in sexy strappy heels for orthotic shoes, with laces. It's about what passes as fashion, today, and about the way men and women communicate. It covers what it was like being a housewife and a parent back in the 1950's through 1970's, (before the Woman's Liberation Movement opened my eyes) and how I failed miserably at both.

If you have laughed at my columns you'll laugh at my book. It's a great gift, too.

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December 5, 2010

Shrewsbury Lantern

More good luck has come my way. Steven Levine, publisher of an online newspaper, Shrewsbury Lantern, spotted one of my columns, contacted me and asked if I would be interested in being a regular contributor to his ezine. I, of course, have never been one to shirk exposure, so I jumped at the opportunity. Steven chose to publish a group of my columns all at once, rather than going the traditional one-at-a-time route. Take a look at the list of ramblings he has included in his ezine. My column continues to be titled Laverne's View.

Go to www.shrewsbury.net and scroll down. You can view the top of my semi-blonde head and the caption Welcome to our newest Shrewsbury Lantern's Columnist. After reading my column(s), make a point of perusing the paper. It truly is a great source of human interest and historical information. I'm particularly fond of the Photo of the Week section.

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November 9, 2010

AFTER FIFTY LIVING E-ZINE

My column, Laverne's View, has just been accepted by www.afterfiftyliving.com, an online publication dedicated to all aspects of senior living: health and fitness, finances, lifestyle, romance and now....drum roll....humor...my humor. A new column will appear roughly every two weeks. Go to LIFE STYLES and, voila, see my column.

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JUNE 4, 2010

SUSSEX COUNTY COMMUNITY COLLEGE

Being Keynote speaker for Senior Day at Sussex County Community College, in Newton, NJ, was a blast. I spoke about the value of having laughter in our lives, and read several of my columns that pointed out examples of humor in my own life. I was well received by an appreciative audience.

This event is held at the college every year for the 50+ crowd where exhibitors from government agencies, local recreation and community services are present. A wide variety of workshops are offered, including art, culture, finances, dance, and gardening to name just a few.

Next year I plan on attending as a guest.

Contact Me

I love to hear from readers. Feel free to drop me a line to let me know what you think about something I've written. I can take it. Honest.

Or, maybe you've had a humorous experience you'd like to share, or an idea for a future column. My Idea Well has been known to run dry every so often, so I'm always looking for suggestions, to refill it.

Laverne H. Bardy can be reached:
By Email: Lavernehb@gmail.com

Home Phone: 973-383-1088
Cell Phone: 973-670-2688

Affiliations

National Society of Newspaper Columnist (NSNC)
International Women’s Writing Guild (IWWG)
Women Reading Aloud (WRA)
Toastmasters International
National Writers Union (NWU)
Sussex-Morris Critique Group